Do Loving Things
Triggering within your partner the exhilarating feelings of love will vary depending on their “Love Strategy”. Your partner’s “Love Strategy” is a set of unconscious rules they have ingrained into their psyche that determines how they feel in accordance to other people’s behaviors, words, gestures and actions. We will discuss this topic in great depth in a future IQ Matrix Mind Map. However, for the purpose of this discussion, let’s begin by taking a look at a few ways you can show your partner that you love them without “I love you” words attached.
Remember the Special Occasions
There are certain moments throughout the year that have special importance for both your partner and for the continued growth and maturity of your relationship. Remember them at all costs and celebrate them in unique, creative and romantic ways. The more memorable and romantic the experience the more indisputable proof there will be of your love and affection for your partner. All it really takes is remembering the big 3 annual occasions: Your partner’s birthday, your relationship’s anniversary day and valentines day.
Take the Unexpected Romantic Approach
Send your love via email, in a letter or through text messaging. You don’t have to say “I love you”, (although that wouldn’t hurt), just remind your partner that you are thinking about them, that you appreciate them, that you can’t wait to see them, and that your world is empty without them. Or, send something funny that makes them laugh and think of you. The more creative you are in your approach the more effective your message will be. Moreover, surprise your partner with sudden kisses and hugs. Again, be creative. Spice up your relationship with unpredictability, and remember, that kisses and hugs don’t always have to be the same.
Listen Attentively
We’ve already discussed the importance of communication, and listening attentively was no doubt a big aspect of that discussion. Through the act of listening you are showing your partner that you are interested in them and that you consider what they have to say as being of utmost importance. Isn’t it amazing how such a simple act can say so much about the feelings you have for the other person?
Be Forgiving
No one is perfect. People will make mistakes. You will make mistakes, and so will your partner. There are a few things that show your partner that you love them more than the simple act of forgiveness. Forgive them for their indiscretions, for their misjudgments, and for their imperfect actions. Doing this will show them how much you care, love and appreciate them despite mistakes that may or may not have been made.
Smile Lovingly
A simple genuine smile stemming from the heart without a spoken word can do more to sooth the soul than a million “I Love You’s” filled with little genuine intent or emotion.
Show Your Gratitude
Say “Thank You” in creative, unique and genuine ways for the little things that your partner does for you. A warmhearted “Thank You” can make a heart melt and will say so much more than the words it represents.
Compliment Your Partner in the Company of Others
Giving your partner compliments when you are alone is wonderful for building appreciation and romantic affection. However, giving your partner compliments in the company of other people shows them how genuinely you respect and care for them openly within a social environment. Do this in creative and unique ways that makes other people appreciate the wonderful things you see within your partner on a daily basis.
As a rule of thumb, not only should you compliment your partner in a creative manner, you should also only compliment them on things that others simply would not at first notice or pick up on. If for instance others see your partner as being handsome or beautiful; compliment them indirectly about how great of a husband, wife, father, mother or provider they are – this will show them beyond a shadow of a doubt how much you respect, care and value them.
Hold Hands
Hold your partner’s hand while watching TV, walking through the park or just waiting in line at the grocery store. The simple act of touching will go a long way in displaying your unwavering love and affection.
Dance Intimately
When was the last time you took the time to play your partner’s favorite song and asked them to dance intimately under the candlelight? The music that we appreciate and love has been scientifically proven to stimulate deep reservoirs of emotion from within our psyche, which can bring about powerful feelings of love and affection.
Tickle & Wrestle Each Other
Simple cheeky touching and wrestling will stimulate powerful love infested emotions within your partner’s body. This act alone shows your partner your deep levels of love and affection.
Simple Say Nothing At All
I’m sure that at this stage you are fully comprehending and understanding that “words” don’t have to be spoken to show your partner that you love them. However, just in case you need a little more convincing, here are the lyrics of a well known song sang by Ronan Keating entitled “When You Say Nothing at All”. The lyrics of the song are very powerful and can help put into perspective what is required in order to build strong, long lasting and fruitful intimate relationships.
When You Say Nothing At All
It’s amazing how you can speak right to my heart
Without saying a word, you can light up the dark
Try as I may, I could never explain
What I hear when you don’t say a thing
The smile on your face, lets me know that you need me
There’s a truth in your eyes saying you’ll never leave me
The touch of your hand says you’ll catch me whenever I fall
You say it best, when you say nothing at all
All day long I can hear people talking out loud
But when you hold me near you drown out the crowd
Try as they may, they can never define
What’s been said between your heart and mine
Ronan Keating
Say “I Love You” in a Variety of Ways
Don’t just say “I Love You”, instead say it differently, creatively and in a variety of ways. Here are a few examples to get you started:
You complete me…
You are precious…
You are my life…
I value you…
I adore you…
You inspire me…
I live for our love…
You are my strength…
I dream of you…
I appreciate you…
Me and You always…
These are just some examples that you can use to tell your partner that you love them. For more of these creative “I love you” variations visit the Romance Stuck Blog.
Building strong fulfilling and fruitful relationships requires constant diligence, work and effort. However, this doesn’t mean that it can’t be enjoyable and fun. Spice up your relationship with a variety of unique activities and dating ideas that will keep your partner interested and leave them wanting more. Here are just a few suggestions to get you started on the right path:
Romantic Dates
Plan ongoing weekly romantic dates with your partner to keep the sizzle in your relationship going. This could be as simple as a spa / bath night, watching the sunset or sunrise, or simply surprising them on their lunch-break at work with a picnic in the park. No matter what it is, plan to make it special, memorable and especially romantic. Also plan your dates in advance and surprise your partner with creativity and variety each and every time.
Fun Dates
Remember that dates don’t always have to be romantic. A balance of fun and romance is always essential for a healthy and long lasting relationship. Plan fun dates such as bowling, mini golf, bike riding, ice skating, playing board games, arcade games, Sony PlayStation or even X-Box games at home.
Anything that stirs up intense excitement within your partner will naturally unleash an avalanche of love hormones that will bring about even deeper feelings of affection for you. This is exactly why Amusement Parks are so wonderful, just make sure that you don’t overdo it by going on too many of those exhilarating rides at one time. One too many rides could indeed have the opposite effect, especially on a full stomach 
Activities
If you simply don’t like the idea of planning a date, you can still spice up your relationship through daily activities or all day outings. Go hiking with your partner within a National Park, or plan a Road Trip to unexpected places – simply go with your gut and see where the roads take you. Otherwise you may find great pleasure in exercising together at the gym or park, and even simple arduous tasks and activities such as doing the laundry or washing the car together can quickly become an intensely emotional and intoxicating experience for both of you.
Use your imagination and your chemistry will do the rest. Visit Romance Tracker for more great dating ideas and activities.
Relationship Mistakes to Avoid
It is of course of utmost importance to focus in on and target areas that will grow, build and take your relationship to the next level. However, at the same time we must be aware of the mistakes that many couples make that sabotage and destroy their relationships in irreparable ways. Here are some things you should keep in mind and be wary of if you seek to build a long, lasting and fruitful relationship:
Avoid Picking on Partner’s Faults
No one likes to be judged or picked on, especially by the person they love, so quit picking on your partner’s faults. You are not perfect yourself, so don’t expect your partner to be perfect either. Accept them for who they are, love them because of their imperfection and cherish them for the intrinsic beauty that lies hidden behind the external appearance.
Avoid Complacency
Many relationships fail simply because the couple becomes too complacent and comfortable within the relationship. As human beings, we crave excitement and variety within our lives. Initially at the beginning stages of a relationship we experience many new feelings and also partake in activities that instigate mystery, uncertainty and unpredictability.
Once you are with someone for a while it’s easy to simply overlook the factors that initially created that spark and attraction in your relationship. If you notice that you are becoming lazy and that your relationship is becoming too predictable, realize that sooner or later one of you will have to do something to spice things up or the relationship will very likely fall apart both emotionally and physically.
Avoid Seeking Instant Gratification
It’s very easy to become addicted to having your partner around fulfilling all your deepest needs and desires. Don’t forget that even though you are within a relationship, you are still an individual entity with one beating heart and one thinking brain. Addiction to your partner may very well lead to neediness, which could make your partner feel claustrophobic within your presence. Instead practice being happy with yourself when your partner isn’t around. Moreover, practice satisfying your emotional, physical, spiritual and material cravings in constructive ways without needing your partner to be there all the time.
Finally understand that every relationship needs intimacy and closeness just as much as it requires a little separation and space. – Be very careful not to become addicted.
Avoid Carrying Old Baggage
By old baggage I don’t mean old suitcases that you have been storing in your closet for years. Instead, I mean people, emotions and thoughts that keep you in the past and prevent you from moving forward with your current relationship within the present moment. Stay true to yourself by letting go of the past and focusing wholeheartedly on your partner today.
Avoid Having Unrealistic Expectations
Get over the fact that your partner will solve your emotional problems or self-esteem issues. Your partner is human, they will help you any way they can, however you must not rely on them to assist you with every problem that confronts you on a daily basis – this is simply just too emotionally draining and will eat away at your partner’s emotional resources. You must understand that they are also dealing with their own personal problems at home, work, and anywhere else they transition through life. Yes, support each other, and be there when your partner needs you most, however do not hold onto unrealistic expectations that this relationship will bring you perfect happiness on every level of your life.
Relationships are not magic pills that you can pop at any time, they are instead support lifelines that can help make your transition through life much easier more exhilerating and fun.
Avoid Forcing Your Partner to Change
This again touches upon the idea of perfection. You are not perfect, so don’t expect your partner to be perfect either. Think back to your initial attraction and how you felt about your partner at the time. Did you nitpick at every little thing you didn’t like about them, or did you simply love them for who they were as a complete and perfect package with warts and all? Your union came together because you naturally complimented each others strengths and weaknesses. Keep this union alive by continuing to be strong where they are weak or competent where they may be inadequate. Ask yourself,
Does the world really need another clone of Me?
Appreciate your partner for who they are and continue to work on maintaining that strength / weakness balance that is evident within all successful relationships.
Avoid Arguing to Win
Before you argue with your partner ask yourself
Even if I prove that my perspective is right, is it worth making my partner feel terrible about the fact that they are wrong?
Let’s all just grow up and stop acting like little children. What is right and what is wrong is irrelevant, as long as what is most important is still intact when everything is said and done. Is your opinion more important than your relationship?
Avoid Creating Negative Anchors
This is a natural outcropping of the above point. Whenever we are experiencing a powerful and intense emotional state, everything within our present environment naturally gets attached to that emotional state of being. This means that if you come home from work feeling angry and you transfer that anger onto your partner, than these emotions of ANGER will begin to slowly but surely anchor themselves to your partner’s presence.
For instance, the next week you might come home from work feeling on top of the world, however the moment you see your partner you begin to feel uncomfortable and angry, and you just can’t explain why? This is evidence that shows you that you have a negative anchor attached to your partner’s presence, and it is probably the biggest and most powerful destructive force on relationships in the 21st Century. To avoid this, simply separate yourself from your partner in times when you are experiencing heated emotions, and choose to be near your partner when you are feeling excitement and exhilaration.
This strategy will not only extinguish the probability of creating negative anchors, but will also create the possibility of experiencing positive relationship building anchors.
Final Thoughts
By working through all of these key steps you will have the necessary strategies to grow and build upon your relationships in magical ways. The secret is to be consistent and persistent. Nothing is ever perfect, and nothing has ever been accomplished without a little sacrifice, work and effort. Make the process fun, exciting and enjoyable and your relationships will no doubt experience the fruits of your labor. And finally remember that your relationships are a work in progress, and will expand in wonderful ways with a little TLC.
I hope you enjoyed this post, and if you have any further thoughts, ideas, reflections or suggestions about this topic, than please feel free to comment below.
Free Articles and Online Resources
Here are a number of highly recommended free articles and online resources that will further help expand your understanding about this topic:
Recommended Books
If you would like to download a copy of this IQ Matrix, it is available from the IQ Matrix Shop.
I am a Qualified Life Coach residing in Australia. My primary areas of expertise are built upon the foundations of Accelerated Learning, Information Management, Personal Transformation, Cognitive Psychology, NLP and Mind Mapping. To find out more please visit my Personal Website or connect with me on Facebook or LinkedIn.
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