The Cause & Effect

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A Reason, A Season Or A Lifetime

People come into your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime.

When you know which one it is, you will know what to do for that person.

When someone is in your life for a REASON,

it is usually to meet a need you have expressed.

They have come to assist you through a difficulty,

to provide you with guidance and support,

to aid you physically, emotionally or spiritually.

They may seem like a godsend and they are.

They are there for the reason you need them to be.

Then, without any wrongdoing on your part or at an inconvenient time,

this person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an end.

Sometimes they die.

Sometimes they walk away.

Sometimes they act up and force you to take a stand.

What we must realize is that our need has been met,

our desire fulfilled, their work is done.

The prayer you sent up has been answered and now it is time to move on.

Some people come into your life for a SEASON,

because your turn has come to share, grow or learn.

They bring you an experience of peace or make you laugh.

They may teach you something you have never done.

They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy.

Believe it, it is real. But only for a season.

LIFETIME relationships teach you lifetime lessons,

things you must build upon in order to have a solid emotional foundation.

Your job is to accept the lesson, love the person and put what you have learned to use in all other relationships and areas of your life.

It is said that love is blind but friendship is clairvoyant.

Thank you for being a part of my life,

whether you were a reason, a season or a lifetime.

The Solution To Pain

by Corinne McLaughlin

When you become too caught up in your problems—feeling angry, fearful, or sad--you can practice detachment by becoming the observer. This can restore your balance and help you experience more inner peace. You can shift your perspective and become an observer of your emotional state, rather than being in pain from over-identification with it. Here are some techniques for viewing your problems from different perspectives and developing a supple quality of mind:

* Step back and imagine you’re watching a movie, in which your personality is the main actor in a fascinating melodrama.

* Put your problem in perspective by looking at the bigger picture, the larger context, and realize everything is relative.

* See your problem from a distance, so it appears smaller and not so overwhelming.

* Compare your problem with some greater event or what someone has gone through that may be worse.

* Focus on the details of the problem, rather than over-generalizations—you may discover new insights and a subtle internal change.

* Look for the positive qualities in a person you dislike or in an event that is distasteful -- you soon realize

* That no person or event is 100% bad. Look for the opportunities presented in the action that made you angry – is there something new that you are learning about yourself?

* Be grateful for the opportunity offered by your adversary.

The Solution To Suffering

by Andrew Schnieder

The solution to suffering is to let go of desire and practice detachment. This is the implication in the third Noble Truth which is called nirodha, meaning containment or confinement. One of the key understandings of this fact of life is that the challenges of life cannot be avoided, and that we let go of desire by facing our challenges with nobility, respect, dignity, openness to learning and receptivity to expansion.

The energies and feelings that arise within us are forms of fire. We need to control that fire so that it does not get out of control and destroy us or others. We need to use it as a spiritual force. We need to harness the energy and consciously direct it to support the expression of our dream. The fire of our feelings is no different than the fire of transformation. In fact, the fire of our feelings is the fire of transformation; it is just manifesting on a level of effect rather than a level of cause from which transformational energies originate.

Injustice, cruelty, wars, oppression and the like are caused by the reactionary feelings not being controlled. These fires are released in destructive ways rather than used to fulfill the dreams of well-being and wholeness that exist in the soul of every human being. Without controlling these reactions their fire becomes an instrument of the wounds and fears of the unconscious.

Manifesting our dreams as part of the spiritual journey requires us to channel the energies available to us rather than trying to eliminate what we might consider to be obstructive or negative energies. The friction that arises from our obstacles and challenges, which often are the bases for our suffering, are essential to the evolution of consciousness. Consciousness only expands through the tensions of life that motivate us to reach deeper and higher, resulting in expansion.

When the feelings that arise within us in reaction to the challenges or afflictions we encounter are not ‘contained,’ we will likely adopt compensatory behaviour. In other words, if we experience that which we do not like, we will automatically seek to balance it, or remove it, with something pleasurable. This avoidance is usually the basis for greed and pleasure seeking, which could be a clue to us as to the need we are avoiding.

If we do not ‘contain’ the feeling of loss that we frequently experience when faced with affliction, we typically go through denial first, then anger, then blame. These are all clues to a need that we are not recognizing. We want to have different experiences, a different life. To blame others, or to blame oneself, does not get us to the realization that our life is created through the choices we make. And the choices are conditioned by the freedom we exercise in facing our reality rather than running away from it or denying it.

If we do not ‘contain’ the reactions to our affliction we might seek oblivion. Oblivion is an escape from the hard realities of life. It is an avoidance of responsibility, and a deviation from the path. Oblivion is easily seen when induced by drugs, alcohol, food or overwork. It is less recognized when it is couched in the language and practice of the spiritual journey. Nirvana, bliss, meditation, etc. can all be means of escape. When they are, they are not at all spiritual – i.e., they do not contain the transformative soul energies; Spirit is absent.

We don’t have to give up the desire we have, but instead let go of the object toward which the desire is directed. When we let go of the object (often some thing or action of escape) we still have the energy with which to work. This way we can look more clearly at what we are trying to escape from. When we fulfill the desire, the energy dissipates temporarily, but there is no change within. As soon as we are going after something pleasing we need to ask ourselves if we are trying to escape from some suffering or challenge.

We do not want to make the object of our desire something toward which we then have an aversion. For then it will still control us, and the desire will create further conflict. We want to be sufficiently free to choose so that instead of the desire being a compulsion it gets transformed into a choice we can call a preference. Preferences do not control, nor create problems when what is preferred is not at hand. Frequently our happiness is dependent upon the fulfillment of desires. Preferences do not have this controlling grip on us.

When we let go of attachments we can experience Nirvana. Nirvana is not a far off heaven, or a state of enlightenment that few can reach, but a clear mental state, infused with the understanding, power and love of soul, that enables one to control and direct the fires of the personality to support soul expression and its dream.

Exercises:

1. What are you attached to that causes you suffering or restricts you in some way?

2. At least once a day when you feel a desire, do not automatically reach for your typical object of desire. Instead, stay with the energy and see what you are trying to escape from. Then deal with making some constructive changes in that part of your life.

Go beyond just understanding and attain more perspectives, experiences and integration to enable you to heal the past and create the future.

Finding Enlightenment in the Most Surprising Places

by Corinne McLaughlin

One of the most significant dreams I’ve ever had came to me over 30 years ago when I first began my search for enlightenment. I still remember it today and cherish its wisdom--and I’m still working to embody what I learned, as it is the cornerstone of the spiritual path.

The dream began when I went to hear a lecture by a spiritual teacher, a young white man whom I admired and heard speak many times. There were hundreds of students attending his talk. They all saw him as a great guru and brought him flowers and fruit. He gave a very wonderful and inspiring talk, full of deep spiritual truths.

Then I blinked, and the scene suddenly shifted, and I seemed to travel into the future. I knew somehow that I had advanced spiritually, and was now attending another spiritual lecture. This time it was held in a very unusual futuristic building. But I noticed there were much fewer students in attendance than the previous lecture.

I realized it was because this time the teacher was a black man, and racial prejudice kept people from hearing the same deep spiritual truths from him. I was told that any type of prejudice could prevent someone from hearing the same great truths. Some people couldn’t hear it from a woman, or from someone of a different religion, for example. But I knew I was more advanced now, and I could accept deep spiritual teachings from any authentic teacher, regardless of how he or she appeared.

But then most remarkably, the scene shifted again and knew I had advanced even further on the spiritual path. Now I was in the kitchen of an ordinary house and there were hardly any other students left. I knew I was there for the same deep spiritual teachings, but where was the teacher?

Then the realization suddenly hit me: the teaching at that moment was doing the dirty dishes in the sink with love!

Now I’m one of those people who don’t exactly get super excited about doing the dishes. So this realization made me feel sick to stomach. I had to lie down. I just couldn’t believe it! So this is the really advanced teaching?!!

Yes, I was told inwardly. It’s all about finding the Teacher within you--not outside yourself. You find the face of God that is your own face. The Buddha said, “Look within: thou art the Buddha.” Your true Teacher is your soul, the Divine Presence within you. This is where you’ll find your most reliable source of guidance for your life. When you work with your inner Teacher, you learn to do everything with love, even the most mundane tasks such as the dishes. You learn to be more fully present in each moment, more fully awake and aware.

This dream reminded me of the ancient wisdom, “Before enlightenment, chopping wood, carrying water. After enlightenment, chopping wood, carrying water”—but now you do everything with love.

© 2005 by Corinne McLaughlin